Sympathy Card Messages


What to Write in a Sympathy Card Message

Sympathy card messages can be the most difficult card messages to write.  The blank spot in the card can intimidate you and make it even more difficult to think of what to write.  Here you will find examples of sympathy messages that you can use for the blank spot in your card.

Having someone you know die can be difficult enough, but figuring out what to say when someone dies can be much more difficult.  Don't kill yourself trying to think of the perfect thing to write in a sympathy card. 

You may wonder whether to write something spiritual or religious or how to word your message.  Make your sympathy card message sincere and thoughtful by using the following examples to help you figure out the best sympathy card message you can write.

Examples of Sympathy Messages

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When someone dies, you may be at a loss for words
Use these sympathy card message examples for cards when you need to give a thoughtful, sincere, message.  Sympathy card messages for a death of a loved one can be the most difficult to write.
  1. I am sorry about your loss.  You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
  2. My deepest sympathies are with you and your family at this time of grieving.
  3. Please accept my deepest condolences.  I am praying for strength and comfort for you at this time.
  4. It's difficult to lose someone close to us.  If there is any way I can make things easier for you please let me know.  Expect me to call and check on you in the next week.
  5. I am praying for you to get through this time with peace that comes from the knowledge that God loves you and will take care of you.
  6. I am sending you this card to let you know that I am thinking of you.  Sorry for your loss.
  7. I was saddened to hear of your loss, and I realize many people have lost a blessing from God.
  8. I am at a loss of words and don't know what to say to you to help you feel better.  Please accept my condolences anyway.  I'll be praying for you.
  9. I hope that you know you can call me anytime about anything.  Let me know what I can do to help.
  10. I am praying for you to have peace and strength at this time.  You have my deepest sympathies.

Spiritual, Religious, Christian Sympathy Card Messages

  1. Praise the Lord for his salvation and defeat of death.  "Whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life."
  2. I will pray for your family during this difficult time.  I will ask God to give you comfort, strength, and peace.
  3. I admired _________ for his strength of character and his faith.  I will continue to be inspired by the actions he took and the things he said while he was alive.  He will live in my memories.
  4. More Religious Sympathy Messages

Sincere Sympathy Messages

  1. I am sorry you lost your dad.  I haven't written a sympathy card message before, so I don't know exactly what to say.  You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
  2. I hope you understand that when people write in a card, 'Sorry for your loss,' it is only because they can't put together words to describe what they are wanting to express to you during this time.  With that said, I am sorry for your loss.

Sympathy Messages for When You Don't Know What to Write

  1. There is nothing that I can say that I think can lessen your pain. I just want you know that I love you and that I am available for you. 
  2. I know that I can’t fix the pain you feel, Just know that I feel for you, That I’m thinking of you, And that I’d do anything for you.
  3. I couldn‘t possibly understand the pain you feel. I want to send you my deepest sympathy, so that you know that I am here.
  4. I know that this tragedy has left you with only memories of the one you’ve lost. I hope that those memories will bring you comfort as they do for me. I feel that to have known _______ at all was a gift.
  5. There is nothing I can do or say, To make this any less painful. Just know that I’m here, And that I’m thinking of you.
  6. There’s nothing I can say, To help you in your time of sorrow, But I know that you’ll always carry ___________ in your heart.
  7. I wish I could express to you all the appropriate words, All I can say is that I am so sorry for your loss, And that I want you to know that you mean a great deal to me.
  8. My condolences to you during this difficult time. I want you to know that you’re in my prayers.
  9. I know there’s nothing I can say or do to make this okay.  Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of sorrow.
  10. I wish I could do more than give you my sympathy. We both know there’s nothing I can do to take the pain away. Know that I am here and that I love you.

Suggestions for Sympathy Card Messages

  1. Don't try to tell the person how they feel such as, "I know you probably feel awful and mad at the world."  It's best to assume that you don't know how they feel at all.
  2. Don't write too much about your own problems.  If you lost someone once, you can mention something that helped you, otherwise you should question the purpose of bringing it up in the sympathy message at all.
  3. Don't ever bring up a debt or something that was borrowed of yours.  If someone borrowed something or owes you money, be decent enough to wait a few weeks before asking for it from the family.  Unless, of course, you think they are going to sell it or claim it as their own.
  4. Don't include judgments from God such as, "It was his time to go, It's all for the better, or he lived a good life so he's in heaven." You have no idea what is going through the surviving person's mind let alone God's thoughts.
  5. Always stay positive.  Even an untactful sympathy card message that is positive will be better than a negative message that is eloquently written.
  6. When in doubt, make your message shorter, not longer.  The more you write, the more likely you are to offend someone.  Brief is usually good.  Stay to the point.
  7. If you offer to help someone, knowing they will have a difficult time.  Tell them how you want to help.  This keeps them from asking you to do something you don' t actually want to do.  Also, the likelihood that they will actually call you for help is low, so tell them when you will call them.

Words of Sympathy

If you want to write your own sympathy message, you can use these common words of sympathy that are used in sympathy messages.  Combine these after thinking about how they fit into messages of sympathy.

Verbs

Send, know, write, hear, comfort, feel, grieving, offer, need, pray, passing, five, visit, leave, ended, mention, suffer, remember, experience, process, miss, love, live, cherish, ease, care, pray

Nouns

Life, name, sorrow, explanation, pain, acquaintance, new, someone, depth, letter, experience, remembrance, road, donation, flowers, memories, feeling, illness, thoughts, memory, love, comfort, heart, death, condolence, deceased, words, condolences, time, sympathy, loss, friend, family, words, sympathy, tragedy, strength, peace, tears, silence, days, prayer, moment

Adjectives

Close, short, heartfelt, hard, immediately, sensitive, depth, appropriate, grieving, special, loved, long, difficult, best, ready, difficult, sorrowful, sad

Phrases

Please accept, difficult time, time of sorrow, deeply saddened, the days ahead, my condolences

When you put these words of sympathy together you can get a sympathy message like this:
"Please accept my condolences for your loss.  I will pray that you have strength and peace in this moment of grieving."

What Not to Write in a Sympathy Card

Sympathy cards are used for encouragement, comfort, and support, but there are many ways a sympathy card should not be used.  Sympathy messages should stick to the point.  Here are a few things that you should not write in a sympathy card:
  1. "George owed me 25 dollars."  As ridiculous as it sounds, some people think it's o.k. to bring up that the deceased owes money.  Those same people might spend more on a sympathy gift than the money owed.  Don't use a sympathy card message to mention that someone owed you money.
  2. "It was Ruth's Time." O.k. thanks for stating the obvious.  She's dead, so it was her time.  You don't need to be Mr. Obvious about it.
  3. "At least Jim's pain is over."  This is a message that doesn't help comfort the person who is grieving.  He or she may be feeling an extreme loss. Maybe they would rather the deceased be in pain and alive with them.  Think about this message before writing it in a sympathy card.  How can you be sure someone's pain is over anyway.
  4. "In a year from now, you will be over all of this and move on with your life."  Sure this sounds like a great way to get the person to rationalize their feelings, but it's not likely to comfort them at all in their time of grief.  Meet the grieving person in the moment, then help them find that peaceful future.
  5. "Your husband deserved to die. You are better without him."  Maybe he was an angry man, had a drinking problem or something, but making a judgment about whether someone is better off dead is not appropriate for a sympathy card.  You may as well buy a congratulations card and get them a cake if you are going to celebrate not having to be around someone anymore.
Even though these examples seem ridiculous, some people will not have the sense to leave them out of a sympathy card message.  Some people will do other things like make their card message focus more one themselves than the person grieving or the person who died.  And they will believe that they are helping.  So it's possible this is one time when it's the "thought that counts."  Try to make your message count, not just the thought.

More Sympathy Messages

If you didn't find the sympathy message example that you were looking for, you can find more sympathy card messages at these places:
Sympathy Messages
Sympathy Card Messages
Bible Verse Condolences
Sympathy Message Examples from Blog Post
Pet Sympathy Messages
Sympathy Messages for Loss of Spouse
Sympathy Messages at WishesMessagesSayings.com
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